Category Archives: Weird Things That Happen To Me

by

Hey, this site has officially hit 100,000 pageviews! That’s pretty exciting, even though I’m well aware that even one million pageviews are less than one half of one eyelash on the human corpse of the internet (??) and nothing will really change with the arrival of this milestone. But I don’t care! I’m really moving on up in this internet!

by

Hey guys, look at this thing I won at Robert Morris today. Actually, I think that this is the first time I’ve ever really won anything outside of my school. I submitted a shortened version of this video and it won best documentary.

Those of you that know me know that I’m an abysmal public speaker. The people that handed me my award, however, were not aware of this fact and as they handed me the thing they told me to say a couple words at the podium. I didn’t know what to say, so i eked out the first thing that came to mind – “Life is arbitrary and inherently meaningless,” and I stepped back from the podium and went back to my damn seat. You think I’m joking but I’m not. I don’t do well under pressure.

Speaking of not doing well under pressure, I had a doctor’s appointment today. Again, if you know me, you know that needles really freak me out. Blunt trauma, knives, snakes, mental anguish – all of that I can handle. I don’t even blink at any of those things. But even so much as hint that a needle is in the room or that a needle will be in the room at some point in the near future and I amp up pretty quickly. In fact, I think that might be in my medical records. That I pace and hum when I know I have a shot coming. Because whenever I need a shot, they don’t tell me until five minutes before the needle enters the room. And then they restrain me. And it’s embarrassing. I swear I don’t mean to do it.

I don’t really know where I was going with that. What’s the word for the fear of needles? Nah, I don’t need that. I don’t fear them. They just make me very anxious.

by

Before I say anything, let me just preface this post with the fact that I spent $94 dollars on books yesterday and no matter how hard I try I cannot force myself to feel guilty about it. Let’s look at some nice pictures of them.

Habibi by Craig Thompson. This is one that I’ve had my little eye on for a very long while because everything that Craig Thompson does is perfect in every way and if you don’t agree I will never forgive you and will hate you forever.

Big Questions by Anders Nilsen. This was an unexpected purchase. While searching for Habibi, my hands fell upon this book and as soon as I picked it up I knew that I could not leave the store without it (mostly because it had started to melt and bind with the skin of my palms; at the very least I would have to buy it, have a certified professional remove it, and later try to wheedle a refund from the cashier drone at a later date). It is honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in a book store. Also, this is the first time I’ver ever willingly spent more than forty dollars on a book. I’m home sick and I plan on finishing it today. I feel like this is a very dangerous slippery slope.

Apparently everything Edgar Allen Poe has every written is worth approximately eight dollars. Four dollars less than, say, a Gossip Girl novel. Everything Edgar Allen Poe has ever written is worth less than one Gossip Girl. Why.

House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski. I actually did not buy this during last night’s excursion, but it’s been on my list for an obscene amount of time and I plan on knocking it out very, very soon.

Also, I received a letter telling me that I’ve been accepted into Chapman University’s Film Program with a Very Lucrative Scholarship and that, yes, I will, indeed, be permitted to make some College next year.

Also, when you click the link to Chapman’s homepage and wait long enough, you will encounter a picture of a scary brown student with a smile that will stay with you a very long time.

by

So someone stamped a piece of mine to their thigh and I can’t help it but all I can think about it how she’s going to have to mention me every time someone sees her thigh for the first time for the rest of her life and that both frightens and terrifies me.

My art will live as long as this woman has a leg.